Ephemera

Ninja Kitty

Boo Yah!

Posted by Hitch at 08:40 PM | Permalink

From: NEWS of the WEIRD

In 1996, Cambridge (England) University researcher Fiona Hunter, who studied penguins' mating habits for five years, reported that some females apparently allow male strangers to mate with them in exchange for a few nest-building stones, thus providing what Hunter believes is the first observed animal prostitution. According to Dr. Hunter, all activity was done behind the backs of the females' regular mates, and in a few instances, after the sex act, johns gave the females additional stones as sort of a tip. [BBC News, 2-26-98]

I really hope I'm not the only one who can't read that without chuckling to myself at the idea of Penguin Pimps. (Don't try counting the negatives, that sentence really does make sense.)

Posted by Hitch at 10:04 AM | Permalink

A few weeks ago I was eating at Cracker Barrel (a countrified casual dining restaurant). I was drinking unsweetened tea. (Note of explanation for non-southerners: In Georgia, and several surrounding states, the default procedure for making iced tea involves dissolving copious amounts of sugar into the tea between the brewing and cooling process. This makes for a very bizarre, and to most members of the civilized world, undrinkable concoction. So, when ordering tea, to avoid this horror, one must specify that you would like your tea "unsweetened." They just assume you plan to dump large quantities of artificial sweetener in to "fix" it.) Anyway, my glass had become empty (nothing mysterious, I'd just drunk my tea). This is unusual, because they're normally quite good about keeping the drinks topped off. My waitress must have been busy at another table. I looked around to see if I could catch her eye and let her know that I'd like a refill. One of the other servers spotted me and correctly deduced the situation. She came up and asked me what I was drinking. I told her and she stepped into the kitchen and returned a moment later with a pitcher to refill my glass. That's when the trouble started.

The waitress who had been serving me came up as soon as the other server had left and informed me that I had the wrong kind of tea. Since the other server had specifically asked what I was drinking immediately before filling my glass, I found that hard to believe. I tasted the tea and informed the waitress that everything was fine.

"But the pitcher was the wrong color." (They use clear pitchers for the unsweetened tea and amber colored ones for the nasty brown sugar water.)

"It's fine, trust me."

In a display of almost supernatural alertness, a manager was immediately at the table to ask what the problem was. I tried to assure him that there was no problem but the waitress pulled him aside and the two consulted privately in hushed tones.

The manager then looked up and spotted the extremely helpful, polite, and accurate server who'd seen to my needs by bringing exactly the right beverage to refill my glass.

He rushed over to have a brief, quiet, but extremely animated conversation with her. Which led to the helpful server coming to my table to apologize for giving me exactly what I'd asked for. Apparently, I was supposed to have been highly distressed by my drink being poured out of the wrong color pitcher. It was obvious the apology was much more for the manager's benefit than my own, so I gave up and accepted her apology.

Same restaurant, different day, different server.

I'd gone in one Tuesday about 2:30 to 3:00 in the afternoon. Looking at the menu I saw a list of daily lunch specials, a different item each day of the week. The Tuesday meatloaf looked interesting, but I noticed the lunch specials were available from 11 AM until they run out.

My waitress comes over and I decide to ask first, "Is the meatloaf still available?'

"Meatloaf?"

"Yes, the daily lunch special -- do you still have it?" I said, pointing at the menu.

"Oh that. That's only available on Tuesday."

"And that would be why I'm asking."

Blank stare.

"… because this is Tuesday."

"Oh my! That's why people keep asking for it. I've been telling them we don't have any. How embarrassing."

"So, I can assume your refusal to serve it so far means there IS some available?'

"Oh yes! Please don't laugh at me."

Naturally, I was unable to comply with that last request.

Posted by Hitch at 12:55 PM | Permalink

• Not the stupidest game on the internet:   Don't Let Go
• Death Design:   Casket Furniture
• Virtual flyswatter:   zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
• Name that film:   Classic Movie Poster Quiz
• THIS is the stupidest game on the internet:   StareGame.com - Virtual Staring Contest

Posted by Hitch at 09:29 PM | Permalink

Posted by Hitch at 09:35 PM | Permalink

I'm dropping the "K" from the beginning of my name and e-mail address around here. The old e-mail address will continue to work, but I'll be using "hitch@randomletters.com" primarily.

I'm posting this redundantly to the BBS as well.

Posted by Hitch at 10:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

• Seems like a bad idea to me:   AWOL Alcohol Without Liquid Machine
• You can buy the Moon:   Lunar Federation
• Better clear it with these people, though:   Lunar Embassy World Headquarters
• Impress people geekier than you:   List of company name etymologies
• Dance like you don't need the money:   DancingPaul

I don't think either of the lunar (looney) real estate agencies has an affiliates program, and that's one I'd really rather stay away from.

Posted by khitch at 11:51 AM | Permalink

• Avoid pesky rewind fees:   DVD Rewinder
• Microscopic waste of time:   Microlife
• The power of faith:   Temple of the Invisible Pink Unicorn
• You be the judge:   Alien Rock, The Proof
• All the news that's fit to make up:   The Whatley Review

A couple quick notes about this batch of Random Sites...

I don't know what's going on with the annoyingly long URL for the DVD rewinder, but that does not include any sort of affiliate's code so I'll get a kickback if you buy one. I stand to make no money whatsoever from the sale of this item. (Unless a large number of people write to me telling me they would buy one, in which case I could probably be convinced to sign up for the affiliates program.)

I have taken the incredible leap of faith that the Geoshitties site for the Temple of the Invisible Pink Unicorn will remain up and available any length of time at all. If that link breaks, as I won't be at all surprized if it does, please e-mail me and let me know.

Until next time, here's my empty promise that it won't be as long.

Posted by khitch at 03:40 PM | Permalink