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There are no shortcuts. If the roads are crowded with too many cars trying to go the same way along the same road, it only means enough of them have tried all the alternates and realized the traffic jam is still the best bet. That's the way it works, we just have to deal with it.
It just sits there like that...
...mocking me.
"What would you like to drink?"
"Uh...cola."
"What?"
"Coke."
"We don't have Coke, we have Pepsi."
"Fine."
"Are you sure that's okay?"
"I said 'Fine.'"
"You asked for Coke first."
"Actually, I asked for 'cola' first."
"Huh?"
"Pepsi sounds great. Bring me that, please."
In recent weeks and last night in particular I've had to take the time to stop and think about the nature of the connections we make with other people across the internet. I've decided to publicly share some of my thoughts.
There's an inherent danger in not realizing the special limitations of an on-line relationship, be it friendship or something more, or even a purely business contact, or even animosity. You can never really deal with the person on the other side if your only contact is through the computer interface of the Internet. There's no amount of emoticons and typographical tricks that can substitute for genuine vocal inflections and body language. Part of the problem is that only thing that gets through is what to make a conscious effort to project. It's too easy to be false and play a persona on-line. Even when you try very hard to be as real as possible there's going to be a certain degree role playing that you can never avoid completely. Being face to face with another person strips away so many masks that it can almost be a completely different person you're dealing with, even for someone who tries very hard to be themselves.
One thing we have to keep in mind if we ever meet the people on the other end of the internet connection in person is, no matter how much we feel we know each other from our on-line experiences this is a new person we're dealing with. We may have heard a lot about the other person, and had pretty good introductions made, but we still have to take the time to get to know the new person, and not assume that we really know them because they were the one typing on the keyboard on the other end.
Even now when video capture devices connected to computers are becoming more and more commonplace and you can see a picture of the other person live and in "real time" it's important not to confuse that image with reality. It may be a very appealing image but it's just computer graphics. The real person who posed for that picture is still unknown to you until you can connect to them in person without the long-distance computer interface.
I'm trying hard to sum this up with some kind of pithy comment. I want to make a simple profound statement, but I think I'm going to have to just leave this open for additional dialog. I want to hear what you think about this.
I bought something kind of silly the other day. I got a Rubik's Cube. I just happened to see one for sale cheap and couldn't resist. The reason for buying a Rubik's Cube is kind of funny. I've noticed that it has become the standard logo for a database structure. As a matter of fact one company that uses it calls their product a "multi-dimensional power cube." As you work with these things you realize how appropriate the symbol is. They look neat, they're fun to manipulate, and if you ever do manage to put the silly thing in any kind of order you feel a certain sense of accomplishment. The only problem is, all the time you spent messing with the thing could probably have been spent much more productively if you didn't have the cute little distracting toy in front of you. Am I talking about the Rubik's Cube or the database structure?
Both.
I'm sure you've had the experience of having a street light suddenly go out or come on just as you pass under it. It's a weird sensation. You wonder, "Did I cause that?" People will tell you that it's just a coincidence -- that street lights go out and come on by themselves all the time and there's no significance to the fact that you were right there at the time. But think about it, have you ever seen one do that off in the distance? You're walking or driving down the street and you can see street lights in front of you. At night you might even notice a gap in the lights where one is out. But do they ever come on before you get to them? They might, or might not, when you get there. But I've never seen one do it when I wasn't right under it. There's something going on and they're not telling us the whole truth.
As I write this my back is killing me. I haven't gotten enough sleep the last few nights, and I've been sleeping on a mattress that I don't like a whole lot. The ones here in the motel are better. They're extremely firm. Almost too much so. But after the first couple nights I got used to it. Now I'm thinking, "Since I need to buy a new bed soon, can I get a mattress from a motel supplier." I know they do sell them. Motels generally have pretty good mattresses. That's their business after all. All the free continental buffets in the world won't make up for a bad night's sleep on an uncomfortable mattress. Also motel mattresses are cheaper than the ones they sell to the general public. They don't need to be fancy. If you go into a showroom they have all these mattresses with pretty flowered ticking and such. If you pull the sheets of in a motel room it's very plain, maybe some stripes or something but that's about it. Think about it. How much do you really look at your mattress? It's covered up all the time. Give me a cheap, sturdy, comfortable, ugly looking mattress and I'll buy sheets to cover it up.
